Self-esteem is determined by how much we value ourselves, and tends to develop from early childhood right into our adult years. Healthy self-esteem is maintained when we achieve a good balance between feeling capable while also feeling loved. Self-judgement or the judgement of others can trigger low self-esteem. Negative self-talk such as ‘I’m no good’, ‘I’ll never succeed’, ‘nobody like me’ can all contribute to our low self-esteem. The more we use this negative self-talk the more we begin to believe its fact.
There are many ways in which we can raise our self-esteem and begin to feel better about ourselves. These include
Positive Self-Talk: Why not change the way you talk to yourself by giving yourself positive statements. Replace the negative thoughts with something positive and create positive affirmations. Look at what you do well or what is working in your life and begin to ‘change the recording’ in your mind to incorporate these.
Positive Self-Care: When we begin to take care of ourselves we begin to feel good about ourselves. This involves eating healthier food and cutting out and junk. Exercise is also vital to help us feel good about ourselves and feel energised. Talk a walk, run, cycle or dance; do whatever feels good for you.
Do things you enjoy: What do you love to do? Make a list and ensure that you do at least one pleasurable activity each day.
Remember your Success: Look at past successes you have had and draw from these. Reflect on an achievement or a challenge you overcame. Be sure to give yourself credit for this and remember, if you did it once, you can do it again.
Spend time with good people: Be sure to spend time with people who treat you well and try to avoid negative people who put you down.
Don’t compare: Comparing ourselves to others can really dent our self-esteem. Instead of focusing on the success of others – we need to focus on ourselves and what we can do better. Comparing ourselves will only bring us down.
Take small steps: Set small achievable goals so you can see your success as it unfolds. This will result in feeling more successful and confident and lead on to greater accomplishments.
Be prepared for setbacks; they are part and parcel of life. However, the way in which we deal with a setback can greatly impact our self-esteem. If you are unable to achieve a goal, try again or change tactic.
Next week we will continue to look at Self Esteem and ways in which we can nurture self-esteem in our Children.
SouthWest Counselling Centre Killarney provides affordable professional counselling to children, adolescents adults and couples – both at its Killarney Centre (Lewis Road) and at Kenmare Family Centre. firstname.lastname@example.org. Kerry LifeLine provides FREE counselling and support to anyone feeling suicidal or bereaved through suicide. email@example.com To make an appointment call 064 6636416.
SouthWest Counselling Centre is a not-for-profit organization. All funds raised through fundraising go directly to service provision.